turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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