Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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