Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
