when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
