are you so shy because you have an std?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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