Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
