You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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