Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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