dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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