Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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