i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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