What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
