it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
