i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize