just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
