i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
