I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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