Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My vagina is very pro this idea
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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