Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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