That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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