Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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