If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My hand turned me down
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
