That's when you crack a 10am beer
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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