No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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