it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
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he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
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I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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