I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
