i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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