dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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