Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize