my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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