I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize