I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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