you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
