I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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