Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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