Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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