he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
