his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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