Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
