I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
there was a trapeze. enough said
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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