So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
