i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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