I just threw up on my dentist
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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