in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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