forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize