Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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