Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
