Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize