4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize