I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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