If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
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He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
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We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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