like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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