Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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