**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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