CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
