I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
