Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
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Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize