Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
my liver is dry heaving
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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