I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize