is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
