he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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