Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
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I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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